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The Boy is watching for the first time this year. "Why is he taking his top off?" Umm - "must be warm". Then backed up by Graham Norton. Jolly good. #Eurovision

#SUI Well sung, but not doing anything for me. The Boy is not impressed either - it's not fast enough! Remind anyone else of Gordon Haskell's How Wonderful You Are? #Eurovision

Male #FRA is performing like his voice is actually a theremin. Can he not change pitch without waving his hand? This does nothing for me at all. 3/12. #Eurovision

Now some proper #Eurovision cheese - it would not be Eurovision without novelty songs like this, so bonus points to #NOR! Can this becoming an earworm!

This one from #ARM really reminds me of something. I can't quite put my finger on it - does she sound a bit like Boggie (Hungary from a few years back) #Eurovision

Big cheer for #ITA (of course) - "because it's the home team" says The Boy! So sport obsessed #Eurovision

So... How do I explain these costumes and dancing then? No questions yet mind! #ESP #Eurovision

I wasn't keen on #NED entry in the semi-final (sacrilege) but it's growing on me - not enough for lots of points though. Het spijt me, Nederland #Eurovision

#GER making good use of the standard four chord progression, just like a million other songs. And is he Germany's answer to Eminem? #Eurovision

You can clearly see the through back to music performances of old in #LTU and for that I quite like it - it's pleasant and inoffensive and more about the song than the staging perhaps. Not enough to score highly for me though #Eurovision

The Boy is being a very good host - he's just brought me a bottle of red wine, seeing my beer is running low! Or maybe I should be concerned that he thinks I should have that much drink? #Eurovision

The Boy is also being very serious in scoring, checking all his ratings! Good lad #Eurovision

"Why has that person changed? He was wearing white!" Observant, is The Boy - and a very good question! Something fashion; all beyond me! #Eurovision

Another one that as a song I really like. I do like female-led folk music. But that's far to serious for #Eurovision #ISL

#MDA another cheesy entry and strong competition for Bananas #NOR - this might trump it! #Eurovision

Is there an underlying sound of an ice-cream van in this, or am I just hungry? #UK #Eurovision

#POL is okay but that beat sends me to a Justin Timberlake song... Ooh a speech! #Eurovision

#SRB Sounding red alert... While practicing good hand hygiene! A sign of our times? #Eurovision

Well, that was fun. My top marks are for cheesy entries this year - #NOR and #MDA. Lots of good "sensible" entries too: #POL #FIN #ESP #ISL #Eurovision

Argh panic - SMARTY Mobile UK doesn't support premium rate numbers. No option to enable either. Giffgaff it is then. Daft restriction. #Eurovision

The Boy is in bed, much to his disappointment - he doesn't realize just how long this next bit takes! #Eurovision

Doo-be-doo-be-doo, la-la-la, ho-hum *drums fingers*

Are we nearly there yet?

#Eurovision

Feeling a tad old... Exactly how many years ago was it MIKA appeared on Jools Holland? #Eurovision

And now the lines are closed, all the votes are printed out and counted one by one! #Eurovision

Making it sound like the validation of the jury vote was super quick but it's already been done! #Eurovision

"The United Kingdom is in the lead" - when was that last said? And another 12 from Azerbaijan! #Eurovision

What? WHAT? Another 12 points from Germany and Belgium! What is going on! #Eurovision

Don't get hopes up! Don't get hopes up!

I hereby propose to scrap this year's public vote and call the competition closed after the jury vote finishes... Or now! #Eurovision

Are the audience allowed wine? How do they keep going? It's gone midnight there! #Eurovision

So, the United Kingdom #UK wins #Eurovision on the jury vote! I'll take that, thanks. Who wants to trust the public vote? #Eurovision

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