The hardest part about unmasking is developing the courage and resilience to act against the interest of another person (usually by upholding a personal boundary you've ignored so far) and to then strike the right balance in determining who deserves an explanation (because they actually want to listen) and who is a lost cause and just wants you to admit that you're wrong.

It's a really odd thing to go through when so far you've tried to please everyone. Who are you to put your judgement over the judgement of other people?

Instead of, “I can’t unmask because no one will accept me,” what if it’s, “I must unmask because people already aren’t accepting this masked me?”

What if it’s, “I need to find out who will accept the real me.”

Be who you are. Be only who you are. At all times. You can try to be a better you, but make sure that you are still you.

Since I was largely following social scripts that I had learned before I knew I was Autistic, and would say things like, “I’m fine” when I didn’t mean it, or that I liked someone’s artwork when I really didn’t think it was that good:

I assumed that everyone else was being completely fake at all times, especially when they said that they liked me or valued me in any way.

Unmasking Termite, the Ransomware Gang Claiming the Blue Yonder Attack – Source: www.infosecurity-magazine.com https://ciso2ciso.com/unmasking-termite-the-ransomware-gang-claiming-the-blue-yonder-attack-source-www-infosecurity-magazine-com/ #rssfeedpostgeneratorecho #InfoSecurityMagazine #InfosecurityMagazine #CyberSecurityNews #Unmasking

If you want to be supportive when someone tells you they’re autistic, and don’t know how to do that:

You could say something like, “Wow, thank you so much for trusting me enough to share more about yourself with me. I would like to learn more, would you tell me a little bit more about your experiences or about what that means for you?”

If you try unmasking, and it goes well, and you get a wave of anxiety afterwards: that is an entirely normal reaction.

It’s not a signal that anything went wrong. It’s a protective strategy that some of our brains are very accustomed to doing.

If you just show up and go, “This is me, and I’m weird in this particular way and that’s a great thing.” And they’re like, “Great! I’m weird too, in this other way.” And you both just accept each other, that’s just the best thing ever.

For those of us who mask, it is often some version of oppressing ourselves, of believing that we were wrong to be the way we were. And at some point that was a belief that was helpful to us.

But it’s also a lie, and you don’t have to live with that forever.

Masking is a completely reasonable response to an unreasonable situation.

@actuallyautistic Devon Price has just announced the follow-up to Unmasking Autism.
Unmasking For Life is due to come out March 2025!

https://drdevonprice.substack.com/p/a-sequel-to-unmasking-autism-is-coming

Masking is incredibly draining, it takes a lot of work to keep up that front, to keep up those camouflaging and the compensating strategies that we use.

Highly highly recommend fellow high masking #Neurodivergent folks, if you can, to get alone time and just do what pops into your head (important: as long as nobody is getting hurt, including yourself) Be free to explore who you are without the world telling you to shut up. Talking, singing, moving, dancing, exploring, etc.

It may seem weird at first, because to society it is weird, but if you're alone there is nobody there to care except yourself.

It's time to be free of your personal shackles and just be happy.

Will you still have to deal with neurotypical society's shackles of unfun, of course, that's life, but you don't need to hide from yourself. Be your own safe space.

There isn't a clear cut route that society has made to a positive Autistic life. You've already tried their standard path and it didn't work, so you have to make your own one that works for you.

#Autismus #AuDHS #Stimming #Unmasking

Ich: "Stimming? Naja ... nee ... eigentlich nicht so viel."

Auch ich: *schreibt eine seitenlange Liste mit Sachen, die in überwiegend daheim im stillen Kämmerchen stattfinden, damit ja bloß niemand etwas merkt*

A functional autistic life doesn’t come from imitating a neurotypical life.

You can't get out of burnout without making significant changes in your life.

You can't find new friends, or deepen existing relationships, without risking getting hurt.

You can't figure yourself out without rocking the boat.

You can't feel better in a system that hurt you without changing the things that hurt you in that system.

My new therapist is also autistic and they asked me to envision who I could be if if I shed 50+ years of masking and let myself be fully, authentically me. It’s so exciting…I simultaneously grin and tear up when I think about it. I think I’ve been waiting for permission without realizing it. I can’t wait to see who emerges from this. #AutisticJoy #Unmasking #AutisticUnmasking #UnmaskingAutism #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic