#asd #adhd #actuallyaudhd
I was raised to accept that life will hurt and that survival is the goal—by a parent who is likely also #asd himself. My BFF (that is, other than my wife) recently said to me, "Survival is insufficient" (which was ironic because he didn't know he was quoting #startrekvoyager).
After my ASD diagnosis last week, I'm only just now returning to coherence enough to see that my life will have to change a lot. It has hurt too much, for too long, and too consistently living as I have. At a minimum, it will hugely change what I consider doing to earn an income. It is already changing how I communicate with people: more text and less spoken.
Speaking about feelings and emotions is so much harder for me than writing about them! I often literally hurt from the mental and emotional constipation of finding and speaking the words in real time.
I have books to read on ASD that came recommended. Maybe I'll be able to start today. I've had a lot of resistance, this past week, to facing these new truths. I know there will be a lot of tears and anger.
Thanks for letting me vent.